Alot of times I confused the meaning of Love with my perception of it. Love is what we believe it is. Or what we create it to be. In my mind, love is magical and has a story book ending. Like Happily Ever After stories. I believe that they can exist right now. I know it sounds far fetched and some people would beg to differ but thats what it means to me. Despite my past relationships, despite the pain I felt because of love, I still trust my heart.
My first experience with love beginning with my parents was not all joy because I expected more from them growing up. They didnt know how to fulfill my image of what a parent should be Because they didnt know what my image was. As a result, I was hurt and it was painful during that time. But that time has passed and I can not hold everybody responsible for my parents actions or my experience. My husband shouldnt have to suffer because of the bad decisions my father has made. I want to make sure my son will not suffer because of me.
So with that in mind, Love is not how your father treated you. Its not how your mother decided to take care of you. What your experience is with relationships in your past is not even close to what love should be. I imagine that if they are in the past they were never meant to be in your future. The time you have right now is a gift. Cherish it and make the most you can out of it. Look toward your future! Dont walk around judging your current relationships with the failure of your past ones. Ask God to deliver you from the pain you've experienced. Ask him "What for?" Why did you have to go through that pain? What did you learn from it? Who can you teach about it? Who else do you know is suffering from that very thing? Allow God to use you. You went through the pain for a reason. I beleive everything we go through is for somebody else. Thats why Im doing what Im doing even now. A blog. Because somebody can take and use this in their life.
I believe the only reason Im allowed to imagine what True love is, is because Im open to experiencing the Love of God. Everyday I look for signs of him in my relationships and in my surroundings. I cant stop thanking God for the simple things in life like the birds and the bees and the trees. I cant stop thanking him for my family and the people around me. Seeing how different we are but made perfectly in his image. No matter how bad they hurt me, I learned to forgive and keep going. Keep trusting. Keep Loving.
Dont allow your past hurts to determine your future. Dont allow yourself to be held captive by pain and hurt or suffering. There is an author named John Graden who said "short-term pain equals long-term gain". You hurt only for a season but you grow during that season and mature into something much bigger and much better than the pain you're experiencing.
Is Love Painful? Yes! It can be but what will you do with the painful experiences in love? Will you allow it to dictate your future or will you choose to change that baby around for your good? Change will allow all future endeavors with Love to bring different results. We choose our path in love. Choose change this day! But remember...
God First, Then Theres You, Then Everybody Else.