What do you do when you find yourself going through the same thing over and over again? When you keep making the same mistakes. I call this "The Vicious Cycle". Its a cycle of continuous hurt, continuous pain and no pain reliever. It seems like every time you enter a new relationship with a new person, you experience the same hurt you had before. The famous question I ask is "WHY ?"
I believe God allows things to happen for a reason. I believe there is something you need to learn that you havent learned yet. That is why you keep going through the same thing. The same cycle. I learned in my relationship with my husband that when I opened myself up to take a risk, I learned what Love is all about. I attracted someone to Love me and I trusted God to protect my heart from hurt in that relationship. I cant imagine my life without my husband. He helps me push when its too hard. He shows me my strengths when I feel weak. We all deserve to experience real Love.
So in the words of someone near and dear to me, "Lets get to the root of this!"
What is the root? Why do you continue to allow the same cycle of things to happen? There is a very important missing peice you can't see yet.
Fear is the root of many problems. Fear is the number one thing that can cause the cycle to continue in your life.
For example: Those that dont pour their heart into a relationship because of Fear of loving someone and getting hurt. Or those that have the fear of being rejected by the person your in love with. There is even a fear of rejecting the person that fell in love with you. We get scared of having a successful relationship because we don't know what to expect and never experienced it before. Maybe we never even saw good examples of Love in the relationships of people around us as children. As a result, we matured into adults with negative images of what we thought a relationship should be like. What ever your situation may be, prayer changes things!
A friend recently told me she believes her root is Insecurity. We discussed the fact that her insecurity is probably why she keeps ending up with the same type of men. Shes settling for less. Shes also afraid that a better type of man wouldn't be satisfied with her and afraid that she would not be able to spark his interest. The root here? Fear.
The first thing is to try to develop a relationship with your Heavenly Father! He knows what you desire so if you discuss this issue with him, you will find relief. I told my friend, God knows her boyfriend better than her boyfriend knows his self. Ask God to reveal to you if hes the one.
The second thing to do is to learn to LOVE YOURSELF. My grandmother will always say "How can anybody Luv U and U dont even Luv Yo Self". LOL. Once we learn to Love ourselves, then we will certainly attract people who can easily fall in love with us. Look yourself in the mirror everyday and begin to tell yourself everything you love about yourself. Every time you hear something negative, dismiss it and tell yourself a couple more things thats good about you. Keep doing this until you honestly believe it. Its not about being conceded its about being confident.
God may have allowed the cycle for you to get frustrated with making the same mistakes. So that you will search for the missing peices within you. He wants you to reach your goals. You just gotta trust him...
God First, Then Theres You, Then Everybody Else!
~Emeliyeh~
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
7/9/9 Poem
When writing this poem, I was inspired by a co-worker of mines. I could see her deepest thoughts. It was a very intense time for me. Remember, the only reason God will show you things in others is because your looking at yourself :-)
Is It Me?
I feel as if I'm trapped in a distant place far away
And everyone who sees me cant see my tortured face.
I reach out to those I think I know
Who walk cordially in an unfamiliar place.
Disgusted. Tormented. Abused and Confused.
I crown myself queen of hatred and delude.
Living in an ungodly kingdom of deception and disappointment
Is bringing continual praise to forces unannointed.
As I procede to the effortless end of my journey
My hearts rhythmic contraction is captured
By a negative image of love controlling my imagination.
Is it me?
~Emeliyeh~
Is It Me?
I feel as if I'm trapped in a distant place far away
And everyone who sees me cant see my tortured face.
I reach out to those I think I know
Who walk cordially in an unfamiliar place.
Disgusted. Tormented. Abused and Confused.
I crown myself queen of hatred and delude.
Living in an ungodly kingdom of deception and disappointment
Is bringing continual praise to forces unannointed.
As I procede to the effortless end of my journey
My hearts rhythmic contraction is captured
By a negative image of love controlling my imagination.
Is it me?
~Emeliyeh~
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Choice Is Yours!
We have to learn who we are. We have to Love ourselves first. We have to find a way to get to the point where the enemy can not see us sweat. Or see our weakness and use it against us.
In a battle of nations, the enemies looks for week areas in your strongest parts and targets them.
What is your strongest aspect? Where is your weakest area? We need to locate our weakest area and define ways to strengthen it so that when it comes to the battle field of our lives we are not overtaken and subdued.
Anybody with power and position knows who they are. They carry themselves different. President Obama and Oprah know who they are. They both had determination despite the controversy.
What about u? Who are you? Can you push yourself when opposition comes. Will you be able to follow your dreams despite the negativity around you?
When u look in the mirror what do u see? Who do u see? Self image can make u or break u. Do u see yourself as successful or not? As an entrepreneur or employee? A wife or girlfriend? Husband or boyfriend? Is your hearts desire to be fruitful in every area of your life? How are you going to accomplish it?
Now is the time to get with it or you can miss it. I just want to encourage you that NOW is the time to pursue your dreams. Start working towards the things you want to do.
WHAT WILL U CHOOSE?????????????
God First, Then Theres You, Then everybody Else!
~Emeliyeh~
In a battle of nations, the enemies looks for week areas in your strongest parts and targets them.
What is your strongest aspect? Where is your weakest area? We need to locate our weakest area and define ways to strengthen it so that when it comes to the battle field of our lives we are not overtaken and subdued.
Anybody with power and position knows who they are. They carry themselves different. President Obama and Oprah know who they are. They both had determination despite the controversy.
What about u? Who are you? Can you push yourself when opposition comes. Will you be able to follow your dreams despite the negativity around you?
When u look in the mirror what do u see? Who do u see? Self image can make u or break u. Do u see yourself as successful or not? As an entrepreneur or employee? A wife or girlfriend? Husband or boyfriend? Is your hearts desire to be fruitful in every area of your life? How are you going to accomplish it?
Now is the time to get with it or you can miss it. I just want to encourage you that NOW is the time to pursue your dreams. Start working towards the things you want to do.
WHAT WILL U CHOOSE?????????????
God First, Then Theres You, Then everybody Else!
~Emeliyeh~
7/7/9 Poem...
What Do I Do
What do you do when your overwhelmed with Confusion?
When you dont know what to do and ALL eyes are on you.
When you cant give up because too many people are dependant.
When you cant give in because it would be too disappointing.
When you settle for less than what you deserve
Because you lack self confidence, motivation and Love.
I just do the best I can do and hope that someday it would be credable.
~Emeliyeh~
What do you do when your overwhelmed with Confusion?
When you dont know what to do and ALL eyes are on you.
When you cant give up because too many people are dependant.
When you cant give in because it would be too disappointing.
When you settle for less than what you deserve
Because you lack self confidence, motivation and Love.
I just do the best I can do and hope that someday it would be credable.
~Emeliyeh~
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Un-Forgive-ness
The other day I had the pleasure of talking to a family member about this unforgiving thing. She mentioned that its not a weight or burden in her life because she doesn't think about the people who hurt her, she just never speaks to them again...
If there is anyone in the world that can tell you about forgiveness its me. I turned away from my family for 4 years because of unforgiveness. I completely disappeared. The people that hurt me never knew they hurt me and I kept a log of every single time they did something to me that hurt me. In my mind was the paper and pen and everytime I felt hurt I would remind myself of the things they did to me prior.
Its not good for us to keep a hold on the things that people do to us to hurt us. Let God deal with them. You let it go! It will only hold you back from moving forward. It can hold you back from the things that are good for you in your future. Its an unnecessary burden.
I thought that by separating myself from the people I was separating myself from the pain. It gave me an opportunity to see that I'm the one still holding on to things. And ultimately Im the one still being hurt. These people are continuing with their lives. They are still growing, learning and living. No reason for me to continue to be upset. And the worst part of it all is that THEY HAD NO IDEA THEY HURT ME.
All along I was allowing hurt and pain to blind me to the fact that they didn't know any better.
People are what they know. If they don't know how to Love how can they Love you? You just have to have compassion for them. Thats what I learned through this experience.
God First, Then Theres You, Then Everybody Else!
~Emeliyeh~
If there is anyone in the world that can tell you about forgiveness its me. I turned away from my family for 4 years because of unforgiveness. I completely disappeared. The people that hurt me never knew they hurt me and I kept a log of every single time they did something to me that hurt me. In my mind was the paper and pen and everytime I felt hurt I would remind myself of the things they did to me prior.
Its not good for us to keep a hold on the things that people do to us to hurt us. Let God deal with them. You let it go! It will only hold you back from moving forward. It can hold you back from the things that are good for you in your future. Its an unnecessary burden.
I thought that by separating myself from the people I was separating myself from the pain. It gave me an opportunity to see that I'm the one still holding on to things. And ultimately Im the one still being hurt. These people are continuing with their lives. They are still growing, learning and living. No reason for me to continue to be upset. And the worst part of it all is that THEY HAD NO IDEA THEY HURT ME.
All along I was allowing hurt and pain to blind me to the fact that they didn't know any better.
People are what they know. If they don't know how to Love how can they Love you? You just have to have compassion for them. Thats what I learned through this experience.
God First, Then Theres You, Then Everybody Else!
~Emeliyeh~
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