Monday, July 13, 2009

"The Viscious Cycle"

What do you do when you find yourself going through the same thing over and over again? When you keep making the same mistakes. I call this "The Vicious Cycle". Its a cycle of continuous hurt, continuous pain and no pain reliever. It seems like every time you enter a new relationship with a new person, you experience the same hurt you had before. The famous question I ask is "WHY ?"
I believe God allows things to happen for a reason. I believe there is something you need to learn that you havent learned yet. That is why you keep going through the same thing. The same cycle. I learned in my relationship with my husband that when I opened myself up to take a risk, I learned what Love is all about. I attracted someone to Love me and I trusted God to protect my heart from hurt in that relationship. I cant imagine my life without my husband. He helps me push when its too hard. He shows me my strengths when I feel weak. We all deserve to experience real Love.
So in the words of someone near and dear to me, "Lets get to the root of this!"

What is the root? Why do you continue to allow the same cycle of things to happen? There is a very important missing peice you can't see yet.
Fear is the root of many problems. Fear is the number one thing that can cause the cycle to continue in your life.
For example: Those that dont pour their heart into a relationship because of Fear of loving someone and getting hurt. Or those that have the fear of being rejected by the person your in love with. There is even a fear of rejecting the person that fell in love with you. We get scared of having a successful relationship because we don't know what to expect and never experienced it before. Maybe we never even saw good examples of Love in the relationships of people around us as children. As a result, we matured into adults with negative images of what we thought a relationship should be like. What ever your situation may be, prayer changes things!

A friend recently told me she believes her root is Insecurity. We discussed the fact that her insecurity is probably why she keeps ending up with the same type of men. Shes settling for less. Shes also afraid that a better type of man wouldn't be satisfied with her and afraid that she would not be able to spark his interest. The root here? Fear.
The first thing is to try to develop a relationship with your Heavenly Father! He knows what you desire so if you discuss this issue with him, you will find relief. I told my friend, God knows her boyfriend better than her boyfriend knows his self. Ask God to reveal to you if hes the one.

The second thing to do is to learn to LOVE YOURSELF. My grandmother will always say "How can anybody Luv U and U dont even Luv Yo Self". LOL. Once we learn to Love ourselves, then we will certainly attract people who can easily fall in love with us. Look yourself in the mirror everyday and begin to tell yourself everything you love about yourself. Every time you hear something negative, dismiss it and tell yourself a couple more things thats good about you. Keep doing this until you honestly believe it. Its not about being conceded its about being confident.

God may have allowed the cycle for you to get frustrated with making the same mistakes. So that you will search for the missing peices within you. He wants you to reach your goals. You just gotta trust him...

God First, Then Theres You, Then Everybody Else!
~Emeliyeh~

5 comments:

  1. Jameila, powerful words to help people begin the process of being freed from bondage. When the root is identified and exposed then we can deal with the effects.

    Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” We choose to speak blessings or curses, truth or lies.
    We must speak life!

    Each of us has a different and unique assignment and God provides the tools the means necessary to carry out our assignment. I believe this is ONE of God’s assignments for you. To use you as a conduit to speak into the lives of nations, using what you have been taught to help free others.

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  2. Tht is so tru. Wats mst intriguing 2 me is the fact tht so mny women wondr why? but nvr explore or ask GOD so tht the truth can b revealed 2 thm whethr it b fear or insecurities. Realizing tht there is a problm is the 1st step, askn God why is the nxt step. He can and will take it frm there. Ur friends r well on their way 2 obtainin answrs and resolutions b/c they've done both but wat aout those who nevr do ask why? Will thy continue going through life gettn hurt (settlng 4 unfulfillmnt)? How sad.

    U shud read the bk Love's Overrated by Keyanna Michelle. Similar issues r explord n ths bk.

    Keep up the blog. I luv it!

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  3. What you was saying is so true. But also you have to learn your self and what kind of mind you have. Also you are who you create. What you think, see and believe becomes your world. Everybody is not going to see what you see or believe what you believe.
    For example, there is 38 Christian Faiths and counting, thats 38 different mind sets, with only 1 JESUS again the people will only agree with you and see and believe
    what in line with thier thougts. What you do is you. What I'm saying
    is if you want better people in your life and a better life then start thinking out the old box so you can get the New. So if a man thinketh so is he. So stop saying what your not and start saying what you are is what you want to be come. Luv you... remember DREAM BIG and believe hard.

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  4. WONDERFUL post. So glad I happened upon you thru "A Peculiar Person". I agree completely with you on everything & can relate to much of what folks have to say here. One of the things I've come away with in my experiences is that God allowed it b/c I was trying to control my life. After this last bad experience, I finally completely gave up & let Him take the reigns of my life. I haven't dated for 6 mos. & I'm ok with that. Because in that 6 mos. He's bringing His plans to life for me. And NOW I can clearly see that they are dreams I've held deep within me but didn't "dare dream" as reality, but that He is fulfilling (buying my home) & what comes with that won't allow me time right now to form a significant relationship. In the process, I've also learned thru a friend who was praying for me that the Lord share "you have unresolved issues". When I said, "No, I don't - I believe I've resolved everything I had going on within me", it just stuck with me. I started to ponder "well, if God told them that I have unresolved issues, then perhaps I still do". So I prayed that He'd reveal that to me. And ya know what? I DID (ok, ok...& still do in some things!). But, He is faithful & merciful to bring those to light within me & help me to resolve them. I'm a better person for that & stronger ... and mostly stronger in HIM! He has that right person out there for me. I truly believe that with all my heart now. I've been thru hell on earth in relationships, but I can now see that that's b/c I wasn't doing it HIS way. Now I live by Romans 8:24-25. How can any of us believe for one minute that He will only be faithful in one or two areas of our lives & not ALL?
    Would love to count you a new blog buddy & will follow you. I can't wait to lose myself in reflective wandering thru-out your posts (& I'm sure I'll have plenty more comments once I do have time to lose myself here!). Please come sit a spell at mine & follow as well.

    Blessings ~ Merana

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  5. Hi Merana... Thanks so much for commenting! You can definately count me a new blog buddy, lol. I did follow you and I look forward to it! What u said here is so true btw.

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